Love and War


I like to think that I’m a peaceful person. I try to keep anger, bitterness, and wrath under control. But sometimes the aggressive, male part of me slips out and hurts the people I love the most.

“Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.” (Colossians 3:19 NKJV)

God tells husbands to love their wives and not be bitter toward them. He knows when men feel challenged, bitterness and resentfulness can build up in subtle ways in our relationships. That’s when the survival instinct kicks in and gets pointing in the wrong direction. 

Each time our spouses challenge our identity it stirs up the need to defend ourselves. When we fail to take out the trash or miss something on our “Honey Do” list, it can cause our spouses to say harsh words. Those words can easily be received as a challenge. If spouses withhold their affection it can cause some men to view their spouses as someone to be conquered rather than someone to be loved.  

Why is this important? I think it’s because many men are bitter with their wives and don’t know it. We’ve drawn battle lines over trivial things like who controls the remote, how she spends money, or words that were said in the heat of an argument 2 years ago that still sting when we think about them today.   

Husbands, love your wives. Love them and do all that you can to identify and remove bitterness toward them. Remember, God made you the man to protect your home and family, not to fight your family in your home. 

One thought on “Love and War

  1. That is so true. Why is it that men holds on to something that happen 3 or 4 years ago. When that happens it causes problems in a marriage. We just have to stay prayed up for our husband. We women can provoke our husband which is not right. In a marriage we have to stay prayed up in order for it to work. This is a wonderful message to reminded us of our short comings. Thanks for the reminder.

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