5 Things Happen to Couples Over Time

My wife shared this article with me via LinkedIn. I found all five things to be true in our 19 year marriage. I hope you enjoy the article from Business Insider. “Science says these 5 things happen to couples who have been together a long time”


How do you get what you want?

We have two dogs at home and they are pretty good at getting what they want. They get food, pats, play, fresh bones and walks. They never are aggressive and always loving. It does not matter what happens, they are happy to see you. They gently use love, cuteness and persuasion to get their way.…


Plan your passion!

My wife, Melissa, can’t pass a perfume counter without trying something new. She would spend an hour at each counter if she could. She wouldn’t just buy a perfume though. She’d buy entire sets that included matching powders, shower gels, lotions, and anything else that was available. A few times, she’s tried on multiple samples in different places on her arms and hands, which made her smell like a flower garden!

Every time I’m with her, she offers me her hand and says “smell this. Do you like it?” If I say “I don’t like it”, “its okay”, or “I like it”, she won’t buy it. If I say “I really like it”, she heads to the register to make her purchase. Melissa wears perfume for me, and she uses it like a tool to ignite my passion. She knows putting on the right fragrance will draw me closer to get a whiff, to steal a kiss, and… You get the picture.

Now look, I know some of you are thinking, you can’t believe Pastor Manuel would write about sexual passion and seduction but trust me, it’s biblical. Take a look at these verses.

“While the king is at his table, My spikenard sends forth its fragrance. A bundle of myrrh is my beloved to me, That lies all night between my breasts. My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blooms In the vineyards of En Gedi.”
‭‭Song of Solomon‬ ‭1:12-14‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

In Song of Solomon, the Shulamite woman has a plan to seduce the king, her Beloved. While he’s at dinner, she’s working her plan for a passionate night. She uses three fragrances in her plan. First, there’s spikenard, which is a very expensive perfume. The smell is supposed to draw him in. Second, she references myrrh, which worn in a bundle suspended from a necklace to continually perfume her body. Lastly she mentions henna blooms or camphire (KJV), which is a plant whose clusters are sometimes worn by women to adorn themselves. It also smells sweet and its leaves are used to make dye for polishing nails.

What can we learn from this? We can’t always depend on spontaneous sparks of passion in our marriages. We can’t hold out to special occasions either. Valentine’s Day and wedding anniversaries are nice but not frequent enough to keep our passions burning. We shouldn’t wait for our next getaway or the right weekend either. Any random week day will do. We have to make plans and create passionate moments with our spouses on any given day.

Swagger is genetic. 

A lesson from Niger.  
While on the Mission to Niger last month, we saw thousands of young men walking the streets daily. To me, there was something familiar in the way they carried themselves. After meditating on this familiarity the Lord showed me what it was: swagger.

You see, the young African men in Niger walk with the same cadence we see in young African America men. They have an unmistakable bravado and swagger about themselves. There is a pride and self esteem in their speech, attitude, and walk.

This amazed me because the young black men in Niger aren’t immersed in African American culture. We’re more than 200 years removed from the slave ships that brought our ancestors to America yet, we could transport these young men to any black neighborhood in America and they would fit in just fine. Why is that? Swagger is genetic.

The expressions and dancing we see in African American professional athletes and entertainers is the same in young men in Niger. The loud, expressive black church services in America mirror the singing and dancing in Christian churches in Niger. There is no doubt in my mind that our people are from Africa because we’re alike.

That got me thinking. If swagger is genetic, how does that relate to our faith. Peter gives us the answer.

“by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.”
‭‭II Peter‬ ‭1:4‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

The Apostle Peter says our faith in Jesus Christ gives us access to promises from God. Through these promises we can be partakers of the divine nature. Godliness is spiritually genetic. No matter where we go in the world, we should display the Lord’s nature.

There should be no mistaking our Christian heritage. People should hear our speech and praise and know we’re believers. Our walk, attitudes, and actions should make it evident we are born again. We may be more than 2000 years removed from the physical presence of Jesus but his love, compassion, and witness should flow from our lives.