Different Together


I’ve been married now for 18 years and my wife and I have some things in common, but not everything. We don’t like the same types of movies and TV shows, or have the same hobbies. We spend our personal time doing different things. But the one thing we have in common is our love for each other. So how do we make our differences work? We make an effort to be “different together”. 

(The Woman) “Tell me, O you whom I love, Where you feed your flock, Where you make it rest at noon. For why should I be as one who veils herself By the flocks of your companions? 
(Her Beloved) If you do not know, O fairest among women, Follow in the footsteps of the flock, And feed your little goats Beside the shepherds’ tents.” (‭Song of Solomon‬ ‭1‬:‭7-8‬ NKJV)

In Song of Solomon 1:7-8 the woman loves her beloved and wants to spend some quality time with her man. So she wants to know where he’s going. 

Her beloved replies by saying, just follow the footsteps of the flock. He’s saying “just come find me and when you get here, feed your goats while I tend to my flock. You do your thing and I’ll do my thing but we’ll be together.”

In the ins and outs of day to day married life, we aren’t always doing the same thing. But it doesn’t mean we have to be apart. We can do different things and still be together. This is important because many couples struggle to find quality time in the midst their busy lifestyles. The end result can be devastating over time leaving couples feeling alone and neglected. 

Here are a few habits that have worked for us. When my wife is cooking I will sometimes sit in the kitchen and read or write. I’m not doing what she’s doing but I’m present and available if she wants to talk. Or sometimes I will go work at a local coffee shop and she will come along and watch movies on her iPad. We’re doing different things but we’re still together.

So the next time your boo is sitting on the sofa watching a show you’re not interested in, go sit with them anyway and do something you like instead. Or if your man is going to play golf, go with him, drive the golf cart, and take a good book to read. When you’re different together you’re sharing life and blessing one another with your loving presence. 

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