Through the years we’ve lived in a few apartment complexes. We typically chose those complexes based on the amenities they offered such as pools, fitness rooms, tennis courts, clubhouses, and more.
But no matter how great the amenities or how long we stayed and paid rent, the apartments would never let us own our unit and we would never commit to spending the rest of our lives in rented space. The ideal circumstance is for us to own our own home.
For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. (I Corinthians 7:7 NKJV)
The same is true in relationships. When talking about marriage Paul says each one has his “own gift (spouse) from God”. It’s kind of like having your own home in stead of renting.
There are many men and women who advertise their amenities and provide benefits but have no intention of entering a permanent, marriage relationship. Any benefit you provide them, emotional, physical, financial, or social is like paying rent for a single unit in their lives. And usually, they have multiple renters (old girlfriends, ex-boyfriends, flirtatious co-workers) to occupy the other spaces.
Listen, if the person you’re dating is only willing to lease part of themselves to you, there’s a good chance your relationship won’t progress toward marriage. If he or she doesn’t advertise marriage up front it will be difficult to convince them otherwise. Don’t settle for a six month, one year, or two year relationship lease. Let God lead you to find your own gift.