The Goal of Dating


But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: it is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. (1 Corinthians 7:8-9 NKJV)

“Good men are hard to find.” “I need to find a good woman!” I hear statements like this and see them written on Twitter and Facebook posts all the time. But I wonder, what would they do if they found the man or woman they’re looking for? It all depends on their goal.

Paul suggests that our primary goal is to be devoted to God. He uses his own life of celibacy as an example when he says “it is good for them (single people) if they remain even as I am.” It doesn’t matter if you’re single and alone or single and dating, it is important that we strive for holiness in our relationship with God first. If we do this, we are less likely to fall into sins of immorality like fornication, adultery, and homosexuality. Prioritizing our relationship with God is our primary goal. 

Second, Paul suggests if single people can’t exercise self-control, it would be better to marry than to burn with passion. Our secondary goal is to be in holy matrimony. The goal of dating is marriage. When we 
set lesser goals we make it easy to leave God out of the relationship and fall to our passions. 

Think about it. If your goal for finding Mr. or Mrs. Right is to have companionship, what happens when you disagree or argue? If your goal is to have someone provide for you, what happens when they’re not able to provide? If your goal is to have someone who “has it going on” or is popular, what happens when they’re no longer in the spotlight? If your goal is to have someone to make you feel good, what happens when you start to imagine how someone more attractive may make you feel better? 

Issues like these are the reason why so many relationships fail. Not only do they fail to last but many of them fail to honor God. Instead, why not try doing things God’s way. God wants you to date to seek holy matrimony. He wants you to prayerfully meet and court without committing sexual immorality. Then when your marriage covenant is fulfilled, you will be free to explore the joys of marriage without the burning passions that lead to sin.

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